Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. -- He was high on my list of priorities.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
roses are red but grass is greener when i think of you i play with my weiner
Where did the sheep get a hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it...
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down”. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee”!
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
My bank loves me.
They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
Person: I broke my arm in three places
Doctor: well don’t go to those three places then.
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted? It was quite a shocker.
Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!!
Why do nuns walk in groups?. So one “ nun” can keep an eye on the other “ nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting “ nun”.
