Puns
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
This is fucking cringe smd fuckers.
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.