Puns
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.
There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
My Butterfingers slipped.