Puns

Why can’t you run in a campground?

Because it’s past tents.

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!

Why did Iran, ran?

Iran said, "I ran away!"

What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

What is King Kong for dinner?

Humans.

What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.

What activity do nuns and whores have in common?

Answer: Genuflection.

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.

I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.