Puns
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!
Student: Oh, did I miss anything?
Petal
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.