Pizza

I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!

Bowling Ball

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

Heart

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

Jack

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

Pasta

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

Ray

Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.

Dog

I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.

He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.

Hurricane

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

Student

Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!

Student: Oh, did I miss anything?