Puns

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?

Post Office.

What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?

Cauliflower.

What did the triangle say to the circle?

"You're pointless!"

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

Laugh.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?

Looks like I've only got myself to blame...

You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

Asshole.

I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.

"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"

"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"

Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.

Diarrhea.