You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
Puns
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
Asshole.
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
Diarrhea.
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
