Puns

Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.

- Hey, are you single?

- No, I'm album.

What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!

What is a "dad?"

I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

Person you don't know, my name.

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"

What’s the best math equation to eat?

Cosine Law.

How did Jesus like his chicken?

Crucifried.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.

I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

What do you call a fruit's penis?

A percock.

Hey Jonny, you can buy a...

Pun o' chips at the store!