Puns
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.