Puns
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.