You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

The date is April 1st.

Somebody asks you what you are doing.

“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“

There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?

There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?

The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.