Puns

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

Why did the squirrel swim on its back?

So it didn't get its nuts wet.

What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a snowbank.

A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 Detour.

I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"

Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!

You know what pun is used for "waist?"

Nothing. You'll find nothing.

It's just a waste of time.

My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.

Now she's having a breakfast.

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The letter b.

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?

LIFE.

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

What do you call chill legumes?

Hippeas.

I had a dog with an eating disorder.

He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.