Pump Jokes

STEVEN LANDED AT TILTED AND GOT 199 PUMPED HES 1 SHOT

My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border

you know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school

A kid tell me he was gonna f$&k my mom on Fortnite! So I toldhim I was gonna double pump his mom untill she was wet like moisty meyers

like if your not A GAY

dislike if your furry

repost if you HATE blacks

omment for VBUCKS

sub to me on youtube its my friend and he has aids send himjoeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guys body they notice when they walk over he has a boner the first doctor decides why not fuck him he still has a boner left in him the 2nd says well he's dead and I I'm a virgin the 3d one says I can't I'm on my period and then says okey why not he already dead it's not like he doesn't smell bad after all that they go to walk out and the guy pops up and says thanks for saveing my life pumping blood back into my body...........

experiment

Optional Depression
33.3k points 4 months ago edited 4 months ago
I'd train gorillas in weightlifting, really see how tanked they can get. Boost them with steroids along
the way.
2
After that, I take my army of beasts, pump them full of cocaine, and let them loose in an empty
shopping mall.
Wanna see which stores they like and which ones they don't. Y'know, for science nshit.
Edit: I've had some fantastic input from you geniuses. To add: The gorillas will be trained in all
beefup exercises, even though science is against me on this one. We're gonna throw some PCP in
with the cocaine. Cybernetic hearts to handle the load of coke, yadda, yadda, yadda... thought I
had more on this. Oh! And the mall is empty because I'm not a freaking murderer, you guys! Quit
trying to kill everyone! Not all science is about death, geez.

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this is what albert einstein listened to
before he wrote the bible
Kieran Collins. 3 days ago

"TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN" ==========================

(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :

......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....

STUMP : TEENY DICK

BUMP : TINY TIT

GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE

LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED

UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

RUMP : AN ASS

DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

PUMP : SEE "HUMP"

. . . and last, but definitely not least --

JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL !!

.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS !! ..... sniff,sniff ........ Ewww !" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk !... I better go, 'cause I just went !! ..... Ha! ha! ha!"

......"Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!" ............

(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')

"OH LORDY !!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"

(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen. ==============================