Pull Jokes

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

Doctor , Doctor, I feel like a pair of Curtains ! what 's wrong with me! calm down calm down Just pull yourself together

What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over Im just aBiden the law officer.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him "Don't skip leg day."

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the libraryin told him to be quit? Pulled out a silencer.

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug" you are letting it slowly die.

Women are like Gernades you pull the ring and BOOM house is gone

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock she's probably just pulling you're leg

When you steal the weird pet rock so he pulls out his pet glock

Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-a-war?

A: pulled pork

Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach? Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

What's the difference between a gay and a freezer? -- The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

Two balled dudes were pulling each other's hair

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights

He arrested me for impersonating Gorge Floyd. *I have seizures*

Yo barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a plants vs zombies map and that shii fit perfectly

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a Rectal Thermometer and thought

Some Asshole has my Pen

I hit something when i pulled into my driveway. and then i noticed that my cat was missing.