Psychology jokes

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?

Society.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you!"

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Are you the voices I've been hearing?

Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)

What did the emo say before he crossed the road?

"Fuck my life."

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.