Psychology jokes
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.