Psychology jokes
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.