Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
