Psychology

Psychology jokes

Maze

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...

Tree

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

Orphan

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

Letter

Me: I'm afraid of random letters.

Therapist: You are?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh, I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

Tree

What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

The tree leaves him hanging :)

People

How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

People

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

Orphan

Are you angry?

Go bully an orphan!

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?