Psychology jokes
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
What do you call a group of emo kids?
The suicide squad.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
What's an orphan's least favorite meme? "Family."
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.