Psychology jokes
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
Do not roast. *sigh in depression*
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
Who am I?
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.