Psychology jokes
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.