Problem jokes

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

Yo hairline caused corruption.

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”

On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”

Neona: Gwen?

Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?

Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!

Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!

Neona: Are you mad at me?

Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.

What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

How to stop bullying?

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.