Privacy jokes

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

For all the Harry Potter fans:

A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.

Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀

The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.

If I die, delete my search history.

Me: Spell "I cup."

My Friend: I see you pee.

Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!

My Friend: Oh hehe O-O

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?

They both see things they shouldn't.

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.

Where is this pic of me in my bra?

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.