Priest's jokes
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.