Priest's jokes
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face