Priest's jokes
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.