Priest

Priest jokes

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Guy

  • A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

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  • Whopper

  • We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.

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    Hitler

  • Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

    Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

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    Child

  • A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

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    Boy

  • A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

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  • Rabbi

  • A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

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  • Rabbi

  • A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

    The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

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    Boy

  • A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

    “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

    The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

    The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

    “It’s really not your day, is it?”

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    Prayer

  • A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

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