9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
America get pranked lol.
Biden's penis is probably as big as the Twin Towers right now.
Oh wait...
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Hillary for president.
Biden
the last thing that went through abe licolins head was a bullet
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!
President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. 😎😎😎😎😎😎
Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.
