President jokes
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Biden
Hillary for president.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!
President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. 😎😎😎😎😎😎
Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.
Why does Trump play Minecraft?
'Cause he can build walls.
What's the difference between Obama and Trump?
Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
Trump, just why?
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!