Gunman jokes

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.

😐😑

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.

The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.

With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀

Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.