President jokes
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
What did Obama ask Trump?
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
What did Grant say? "I'm gay."
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.