Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
What's the difference between Obama and Trump?
Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
I was in Russia at a stand up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice though
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
