President Jokes

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

I was in Russia at a stand up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice though

Why didn't Trump beat Biden?

Because he couldn't trump that bitch!

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Its past April fool's day and we still have a joke as president.

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An Donald Trumpet!

What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common? No one loves them!

Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken

Dude- Hey dude guess who I am Viewers- Dora Trump- No I am President Trump Viewers- Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack Trump- today we are going to build a wall Viewers- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress. Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says no love for the rich on it.

"In my opinion, JFK was the best president." "Why?" "He was very open-minded"

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?

A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?

What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency? Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering A minor

Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own fkn mask mandate.

JOE BIDEN

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen. "Are those brownies, I smell?", he asks. "Indeed, they are.", he was told. "Gee", he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts."

What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?

an escort..

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”