When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
