Present Jokes

Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, death eight year old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

what did the blind kid get for his birtday? Idk he still didnt look

A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."

The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."

The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas? I dont know, she's still trying to open it...

For a present on christmas i gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button

Why didn't the boy like his christmas presents, hint: they were a soccer, bicycle, and running shoes?

What did the orphans friend give him for his birthday?

Lego so he can build a home.

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?

Because the little boy had no legs.

what did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas.

he couldn't even open it.

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas? He got gloves. Ohh sry he cud never open the present.

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but toady is a gift that is why it I called the present.