Pregnancy jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.

She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"

How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?

Two, one for her and one for the baby.

I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.

My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?

Ohhh, an owner.

What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.

Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?

Because of his short cummings.

All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.