Pregnancy jokes
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?
You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!