Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
Charlene's hairline was so far back that she was practically bald and fat.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
What do dentists play at their practice?
Dental records.
