Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are he he.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
