That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
