Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
