Politics jokes
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
The S in America stands for safe.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?