Politics jokes

The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.

Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?

A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.

There is a feminist group in my town.

It is called Gal-Qaeda.

(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.

Trevor Bauer for President.

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

What do you call a frozen communist?

Hammer and popsicle.

Hillary Clinton

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.

What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.

What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!