Politics jokes
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Capital Of San Marino?
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.