Politics

Politics jokes

Shrek

Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.

And they created The Green Party.

Pope

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

Escort

What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?

An escort.

President

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

People

What do British politics and transgender people have in common?

Both aren't what they used to be...

Memes

Doll

What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up.

Difference

What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?

Hitler knew when his career was over.

Woman

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Feminist

What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?

A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.

Comment

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

CIA

What do the initials CIA stand for?

Central Intelligence of A**holes.

Suicide

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

Election

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.