Politics jokes
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
How many times was Osama bin Laden shot?
911 times.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
1 like = 1 Ukrainian child sent to Russia.
LGBTQ. If there’s any joke, it’s 100% the woke 🤡.
Why us gov boring
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today…
…He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
What's so wrong about Trump being in office?
He steals all the cats.
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
People are pushing for a Black Statue Of Liberty coin.
Can't wait to use Black people as currency again :)
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!