Politics jokes
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Capital Of San Marino?
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Memes
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.