Politics jokes
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
Why should China be a baseball team?
Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.
Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? (You're a poo.)
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”
If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!