Politics jokes

"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

Why do Republican men hate transgender people?

Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?

Chelsea Clinton.

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.

Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...

Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?

British cigarettes get smoked easily.

How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?

By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?

A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

What record did Obama prove during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.

So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.