Players jokes
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
What’s 2 Mexicans playing basketball called?
"Juan on Juan."
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?
132.513.531.332
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
Time for a random Terraria joke.
Q: Why did the guide die at his house?
A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.
(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.