Players jokes
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
Q: What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
A: One knows where home is.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.