Play jokes
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )