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Violist

Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.

Papyrus

Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.

Sister

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Memes

Actor

Why did the actor fall through the floor?

He was just going through a stage!

Game

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

Orphan

Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

Because they can actually buy a house.

Word

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke!

Helen Keller

What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?

Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.

Nightmare

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Clam

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

Dad

Similarity

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

Chess

Why can't British people play chess?

Because they lost their queen.

Dead

Play dead, they said.

Wasn't too hard.

I've been dead inside for years.

Funeral

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."