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Orphan

  • Why can’t orphans have phones?

    Because it has a home button.

    Why don’t orphans play baseball?

    Because they can’t get a home run.

    Mom

  • Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

    Funeral

  • When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

    Alphaville - "Forever Young."

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