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Sex

72 views ·

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

Fun

18 views ·

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

Game

28 views ·

What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.

Barbie

39 views ·

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

Mom

18 views ·

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

Genie

20 views ·

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

Tortoise

9 views ·

The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.

Closet

9 views ·

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”