Place jokes

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Where did Suzy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?

SawCon deez nutz!

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?

Must be lots of drunks there.

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?

Their place.

Why did the woman cross the road?

What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?

Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to be there.

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?

They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.