Place jokes
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
*Loud explosion inside the tank* "Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.