Matey jokes

You could think that some orphans are gay.

But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ahoy Mateys.

Ahoy Mateys who?

Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

"Aye, matey."

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.

"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"

"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."