Matey jokes

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

"Aye, matey."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ahoy Mateys.

Ahoy Mateys who?

Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.

The bartender asks him why.

And the pirate says:

"Argh, It's driving me nuts."

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer!