Pilot jokes

Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?

The first airplane.

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Roses are red, violets are violet.

My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"

Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."

What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.

People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?

A Boomerang.

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.

dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight