Pilot jokes
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.