Pilot jokes
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.