Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
