Pilot jokes
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.