Picture jokes

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.

When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.