Picture Jokes

i nailed my sister's............ picture on the wall

you dirty minded bastard.

I’m going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I’ll draw it with a razor blade. I’ll draw it on my wrist.🔪🔪

Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it." Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?

On a website.

My boy I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now! *draws a picture of his "epic" sword* "what......WHAT..... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame-up

You mamy is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas and it’s still downloading

Yo mama so fat i took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it

The other day I went to a museum, my friend and I went to the holocaust section and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him. Why are you sad it’s just an Ash tray

Your so cool that celebrities take pictures of you

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture you were considered as an island. Bully:(Speechless)

Me:

Someone: Sum up America in one
picture.
Me:

Do you know why jesus is so popular with the ladies?? Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this.. 🤚--------🤪----------✋

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold