Picture jokes

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.