Picture jokes

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.