Photography

Photography Jokes

Shot

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

Dead Body

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

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  • Orphan

    What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?

    A self-fie.

    Ugliness

    How do you know you’re ugly?

    If you always get handed the camera for group photos.

    Orphan

    What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?

    Answer: A family photo.

    Picture

    Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."

    Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

    Mama

    Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

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