Picture jokes
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.
One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).
Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.